oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
