4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
