you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
