alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
