hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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