You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
