How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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