Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
