So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
