Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
