Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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