Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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