I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
