Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
