I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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