I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My vagina is officially offended.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
