You smell like a Billy Joel song
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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