people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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