Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
