Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
