Dual....:-)
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
