With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
