i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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