how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
