On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I will be naked everywhere
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
