Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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