I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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