I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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