Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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