is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
