this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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