I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
