Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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