Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
