we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
