My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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