Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
