Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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