you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
