now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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