I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
