Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
