capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
