thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
