Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
