You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
