this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
