I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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