That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Less talking, more tequila
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
