Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
