Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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