I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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