I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
