My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
