I'm drive I can fine osifer
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
